An Intervention

Whereas I've written for Adam and myself, together, in previous blogs, I feel the need to state first that this post is much more a "Jess" than a "Jess & Adam" post. In many ways, this is my own soapbox - a more personal, very passionate preoccupation of mine. And while Adam understands it fully (which I absolutely LOVE him for!), it is definitely an obsession of my own creation, rather than of "us".

The second edition of the 2009 "Hog" magazine (for those of us that don't "ride" - it's a magazine published by and for Harley Davidson Enthusiasts) grabbed my attention recently. Adam told me about an article chronicling the life of an Australian couple that have riden to/through 192 U.N. countries!! He thought I would like the article - he was right! - and that, in his words "Everyone should read this article" - right again. I feel similarly about a publication by the Peace Corps called "On the Homefront" (you can find it via the links in the "FAQ" post below).

It is with these two publications that I will try to guide my thoughts away from the blackhole that is rambling... here we go...

From Hog Magazine, Peter writes: "Many world travelers that we have encountered have had difficulty settling back into the 'real' world or 'normal' life... The personal challenges, hardship, achievements, and relationships they have endured by traveling all leave the more traditional lifestyle a little empty... It can become all but impossible to go back to your previous life... But that is not necessarily a bad thing."

In "On the Homefront", a returned Peace Corps volunteer writes, "Upon your return... you have so much to explain, but alas, your friends' and familys' capacity to absorb is not nearly matched by your need to recapitulate; they’re filled up before you’re even half empty. The typical returned Volunteer is a catharsis waiting (not so patiently) to happen."

Travelling, visiting, "going places"... these are all funny things for many people... very different things to different people. And unfortunately, my busy mind has spent far too much time thinking about these things. And when people ask me "Why would you want to go to ____(fill in the blank)____?" or, my favorite question, "Why do you want to leave the U.S. so badly?" I often feel the urge to divulge my entire collection of thoughts on the subject. And yet, as described above, the mere mention of something interesting/different/better, elsewhere in the world, often fosters boredom and, in worse cases, even some disdain from others. I have often encountered such contemptful looks when attempting to describe an experience abroad. Thus, as I've learned the hard way, there is a very fine line between sounding "excited" about something foreign and sounding "elitist" about something foreign. And I admit that I have had a lot of difficulty in walking this line in a proper way. So often I, as other travelers have sympathized in the past, find myself simply not talking about travels, for fear of deciding vengefully that he or she is one of those that "just don't get it." It's challenging and often problem-causing with people of whom I am truly fond.

But perhaps some explication on the matter - that is, my wondering thoughts on the matter - may shed some light on the very precarious nature of a person who feels the need to... well... go, to see, to do.

As I have figured it, there are 2 types of people who "Go": Those that "visit places" and those that "travel" - now before anyone gets too upset at this line I've drawn in the sand - let me explain:

1. Those that "visit places": This is often the best kind of "Going". It is exact, it is measured, it is often well-planned. And because of all of this, it is often the most releaxing, the most enjoyable, the most rewarding in terms of seeing a new place and experiencing its sights, its sounds, its smells and tastes. I think this type of "Going" is wholly necessary for people - we need to "visit places" to see friends and family, to experience new worlds, to expand our horizons.

2. Those that "travel": This is a very different type of "Going". Traveling may have a start and end time, perhaps even a "to" and "from" ticket, but it is often not entirely planned and it is entirely un-exact. For this reason, travelling is difficult, it can be stressful, it is tiresome and often frustrating. But it is also the most rewarding way in which to truly experience a place. Many authors have written this sentiment far better than I ever could, but simply put, to get off a train and not know where you will be staying that night and to wake up the next morning in an entirely foreign place with no set plans is one of the most incredible feelings in all of the world. Traveling is stimulating, it is enlivening... and yet, when it is all said and done, you often need a "vacation" from your "travels" and, ironically, many travelers will talk about "visiting someplace" to recup.

Now, if you'll indulge me, I'd like to dig a little deeper into the "travel" aspect. Of those persons who "travel", there are also 2 types of people: Those that don't feel the "tug" and those that do feel the "tug" - you see:

1. Those that don't feel the "tug": What the heck is the tug? Right? The tug is that yearn, that burn, that need, to travel. For some, travelling can be a one-time thing, that "trip you took" in your youth that "life-altering experience" abroad. But, as Peter (again, from Hog Magazine), writes, "...these [persons] are very, very few in number."

2. Those that do feel the "tug": This is the majority. As Peter puts it, "For most, travel becomes a part of their life. Work is only a way to pay for it and everything else is often 'in-between trips'." And while I have travelled only a few places in my short adult life, I have never felt a "tug" quite like that to travel. I often find myself staring out the window at work wondering "when do I get to... go? where will I go?" I've actually described the feeling before as a "Restless Leg Syndrome" for your whole body - an itching to get up and... go! Luckily, Adam understand this about me and is excited to... go! too. Thank god.

Simply put, you either feel the "tug" or you don't - and either is fine. But the hardest thing about it all is that those who don't and those who do can find it hard to understand eachother. The first will think the other is frivolous, fool-hearty and the latter will think the other is close-minded or "just doesn't get it". From either side, this can be a risky relationship - yet again, the reason that the line between these two mindsets is so difficult to walk.

Finally, there is yet one more division that we must make. Of those who "travel" and who do feel the "tug", there is yet 2 more types of people: Those who "can't" and those who "can". This is by far the most effecting division:

1. Those who "can't": Even when the "tug" occurs, it is often not feasible to hop on a plane with your backpack and travel the world. We have jobs, we have kids, we have mortgages. And when life is full of other, very important priorities, travel quickly falls away from the top of the list. But...

2. Those who "can": There are those who can travel. Those without long-term jobs, young children, mortgages and other responsibilities. These are the people that can, and should (if they feel that "tug"), hop on a plane and travel the world. One of the most common things I've heard since Adam and I applied to the Peace Corps is "Well do it now, because after you have kids and a house you won't be able to." Typically my response to this is "I know - so I appreciate your support!" To put it bluntly, Adam and I have both said that we don't want to look back on this chapter of our lives - before the kids and the house and the jobs - and wonder "What if we had gone?" This is the time to do it, so we're doing it...

So in conclusion, my goal here was complex - I wanted to share my personal insights on "Going" and those who "Go", but also to show the true balance between all types of people. And while I can turn myself inside out and attempt to describe my own yearning to travel, I am not fully capable of expressing all sides adequately - so I only hope I did not lead any "Go-er" to feel out of the picture. Simply put, the world needs all these types of people, for if all persons were "travelers" of the extremist sense, nothing in this world would ever get done or stay constant. We need all those that grow the food, do the 9 to 5 on Wall Street, stay home to raise the kids - our civilizations would be lost without them. And on the other hand, we need the travellers - we need those that go out to see the world and come back with a new take on life, we need those that are moved by what they experience to do, to create, to make change. We need them all.

And while I may never be good at walking that fine line between myself and those of a different mindset, I will continue to try. It's part of who I am, because I want to share with those that I care so deeply about...

I am exploding at the seams to share with you the few wonders I've seen... because I love you and because I want you to feel that same sense of awe and enlightenment. I want you to know what this feeling of "being filled up by life" is like when you see mountains rising out of the ocean, when you see trees growing out of temples, when you see children's dirty feet. I want you to understand what it feels like to be so small in such a vast and incredible place. I want you to know this kind of love of the world as I feel it. And I'm sorry if I don't get it quite right, but I will still try to share, because I love you, I do.

If nothing else, I hope everyone can understand that, or accept that, about me.